Nov. 17th, 2021
Feb. 19th, 2012
ohgodohgodohgodmakeitstopmakeitstopmakei
im so scared and so angry and so sad and so hurt and i cant fucking breathe ogod
im so scared and so angry and so sad and so hurt and i cant fucking breathe ogod
Feb. 15th, 2012
I have no idea what to do. It's like everyone's screaming at once, every time I go anywhere near school, and I swear I'm starting to feel it through the ether, too... I start crying when I read everything that's going on. I know you're all going through a lot right now - trust me, I know - and I don't want to make it all about me, but it's getting harder and harder to work out which bit "me" is. I think I have it. I think I have it, but it's so difficult to tell what's mine.
My parents are worried. Really worried. They don't show it, but they're really worried and I think it's my fault. But I can't help it. I've been through five packs of cigarettes since the post yesterday, and they don't help any more.
I think I'm scared.
I'm going to try something else. Believe me when I say I really, really want to help you all feel better, but it's really difficult to even separate out whose feelings are whose at the moment, it's all just this... mess. So if you're feeling upset or angry or anything like that, can you just... tell me why? In confidence, I swear, I won't tell a soul. But I want to work out where everything is coming from and maybe see if I can help, because otherwise I really can't do anything or go anywhere, and if I can't go to school, I can't graduate, and I can't go to NYFA, and everything's for nothing. And I think I miss being around people and not being crippled by them. I think I'm lonely.
I think I'm going crazy.
Sarah, Tina, anyone else involved with the films I was talking about... I'm sorry, I can't concentrate on them right now. I started a screenplay but it was bullshit. I'll get to it soon, though.
My parents are worried. Really worried. They don't show it, but they're really worried and I think it's my fault. But I can't help it. I've been through five packs of cigarettes since the post yesterday, and they don't help any more.
I think I'm scared.
I'm going to try something else. Believe me when I say I really, really want to help you all feel better, but it's really difficult to even separate out whose feelings are whose at the moment, it's all just this... mess. So if you're feeling upset or angry or anything like that, can you just... tell me why? In confidence, I swear, I won't tell a soul. But I want to work out where everything is coming from and maybe see if I can help, because otherwise I really can't do anything or go anywhere, and if I can't go to school, I can't graduate, and I can't go to NYFA, and everything's for nothing. And I think I miss being around people and not being crippled by them. I think I'm lonely.
I think I'm going crazy.
Sarah, Tina, anyone else involved with the films I was talking about... I'm sorry, I can't concentrate on them right now. I started a screenplay but it was bullshit. I'll get to it soon, though.
Jan. 29th, 2012
2 ~ 29/01/12
Seems to me that the 95% (or whatever it is) of our brain is unused for a reason. Everyone complains about how they don't understand people, or how people don't understand them, but the more you see people the harder they are to understand, and the harder it gets to be around them. I don't get it any more. I can feel everything. Everything. And nobody's ever happy all the time. And the walls are crumbling, it's seeping in around the edges. It's like exposing film, it's an art; too little and it's invisible, too much and it's ruined. Nature's usually pretty good at exposing us, but something got screwed up with me and I'm overexposed, and getting worse. I don't think people are feeling stronger about stuff, I think I'm getting stronger. Everything. From everyone.
I'm losing myself.
I need a project, something to throw myself into.
Who's up for helping me with a film? Or, well, several films if things go according to plan. Three or four-minute shorts, dark comedies about fear and family and fantasy. I'm still working on the ideas, but I think I can write the screenplay for the first one pretty soon, if I can get actors and tech help and stuff. Any takers?
I'm losing myself.
I need a project, something to throw myself into.
Who's up for helping me with a film? Or, well, several films if things go according to plan. Three or four-minute shorts, dark comedies about fear and family and fantasy. I'm still working on the ideas, but I think I can write the screenplay for the first one pretty soon, if I can get actors and tech help and stuff. Any takers?
Nov. 17th, 2011
1 ~ 17/11/11
So, I've been thinking. I really need some more stuff in my portfolio. Like, good stuff. Stuff where I can show off my super amazing skills at everything.
Glee kids, I know you're probably busy right now, with the show and all, but would any of you be interested in helping me make a music video, maybe over the holidays? You pick a song, we can brainstorm some ideas, get a story to it, all that kind of thing... I get something to show NYFA I can write/produce/direct, you get something you can include with your portfolios (do you need portfolios? I don't get musical applications at all), we all have a great time and everyone wins.
Non-Glee kids are welcome too.
Who's in?
Glee kids, I know you're probably busy right now, with the show and all, but would any of you be interested in helping me make a music video, maybe over the holidays? You pick a song, we can brainstorm some ideas, get a story to it, all that kind of thing... I get something to show NYFA I can write/produce/direct, you get something you can include with your portfolios (do you need portfolios? I don't get musical applications at all), we all have a great time and everyone wins.
Non-Glee kids are welcome too.
Who's in?
